


Some Guys Have All the Luck

by Highlander_II



Category: Dresden Files - Jim Butcher, House M.D.
Genre: Closet Sex, Community: spook_me, Costume Parties & Masquerades, Costumes, Crossover, Demons, F/M, Halloween, Spook Me Multi-Fandom Halloween Ficathon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-29
Updated: 2010-10-29
Packaged: 2017-10-12 23:13:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/130163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Highlander_II/pseuds/Highlander_II
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the spook_me challenge.  Takes place within the heroesque universe.</p><p>Who's luckier - House or Dresden?</p><p>
  <i>He spent half of their first hour at the party trying to figure out if Cameron was wearing a delicious nothing-at-all beneath her costume...</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Guys Have All the Luck

"That old thing?" House sneered when he saw Cameron come down the hall dressed in white fur.

She glanced down at herself, then back at him nervously. "What?" She blinked quickly. "But I thought you liked this costume?" He didn't think she was going to cry, but she really looked disappointed that he hadn't commented kindly about her outfit.

In response, he said nothing. He let one corner of his mouth twitch up in a hint of a smirk. He liked the costume. It turned him on, in fact. A lot. Costume parties, on the other hand, did very little for his libido, but the annual Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital Halloween party was happening and, as usual, he had been all but ordered to attend. With a grumble and a series of complaints about such ridiculous frivolities, he caved. Mostly because he found out Cameron was planning to wear that damned cat outfit.

He had spent part of an afternoon trying to explain to Wilson what this costume did to him, but trying to explain 'fur turns me on' wasn't as easy as he'd thought. Even talking to Wilson. So, he'd changed the subject to what Wilson would be wearing to the costume party.

House had decided, slightly to Cameron's displeasure (at least that's what he thought she was expressing), to attend dressed as a pirate. It was as good a reason as any to procure himself a sword cane like he'd been wanting for a couple years now. Wilson gave him a similar look of disdain when he watched House carefully choose the sleek cane that concealed a finely honed blade of steel. House could see it in his friend's face: 'You are going to kill yourself.' House's face had ignored Wilson's and he'd bought the cane anyway.

Besides, what else would a limping pirate have at his side? Okay - and a parrot. Though House had opted against the use of a real parrot. That idea was far too messy.

He spent half of their first hour at the party trying to figure out if Cameron was wearing a delicious nothing-at-all beneath her costume and she spent the same amount of time not letting him find out. Talk about frustrating! So, he'd consumed a fair amount of vaguely alcoholically tinged punch to bide his time. What was the world coming to that the Halloween party couldn't even have real liquor in the punch?

When Cameron had finished making her rounds - or whatever it was she'd been doing - she brushed against him and asked if he was engaging dirty thoughts about what he'd like to do to her. He thought for a moment about ignoring her and pretending he hadn't heard her, but some of that wispy fur touched his skin and her velvety voice slid over his ears and he was stuck in the only headspace he could hang on to - sex soon.

He leaned into her ear - her actual one, not that cat one on top of her head - and whispered, "Meet me in the janitor's closet on the third floor in ten minutes."

She rumbled something that could've been a growl or a purr, but either way, sounded a lot like she was not turning him down.

On his way to the front door - he needed some air after all that punch - he brushed past the over-tall wizard-guy that he'd met while dealing with Stacy's ghost (her literal ghost, not just the ones in his head), gave him a polite nod of acknowledgment and continued on his way. He was two steps from the door when an amazingly large creature ducked its head beneath the doorframe to step into the party. The thing seemed horribly dis-proportioned - tall body with a large, elongated head with a snarling snout full of sharp teeth. It was ugly. Then again, so were most of the other costumes at the party. This one was just more elaborately ugly. When it moved from the door, House stepped outside for the air he was seeking.

He waited the full ten minutes before lumbering his way to the third floor to meet Cameron in the janitor's closet. He stepped in, pulled the door closed and tugged the chain to switch on the light. Why was this the only closet in the entire hospital that still had a pull-chain for the overhead light?

Sitting primly on her haunches in the pool of yellow light was a pretty little princess kitty all in white. House stretched his hand down to brush over the kitty's ears. His other hand slipped over her throat, brushing the leather collar situated there. Cameron tilted her head and stretched forward to brush her furry self against his legs, mimicking the actions of a real cat.

He never figured himself as having any sort of kink involving animals, but something about Cameron, in this costume, acting the way she was acting, turned him on in ways he couldn't begin to understand. On one level he wanted to understand where it was all coming from, but on another, he liked the little bit of mystery. For the moment, he settled on the mystery and what Cameron was doing with that long lean body of hers against his legs.

* * *

So, I just passed House and he didn't try to kill me or insult me, so either he's got something else on his mind or I don't rate on his snark meter anymore. If I think about it just a little, the latter is more upsetting. What can I say? I love matching snarky-wits with a well-armed opponent.

I do not, however, find some of these costumes 'pretty'. In fact, some of them are downright repulsive. Really repulsive. Realistically repulsive... well damn.

I won't be winning the costume competition this year.

Not that that was much of an issue to begin with, since I didn't do much to dress up. I'm dressed a lot like me, but with a more fantasy-based look to it. Most people here don't really seem to care. Though that may have something to do with the fact that I haven't brushed my hair in the last couple days and there are a few dirt stains on my shirt. Of course, if I close the robe and fasten it, they won't see the dirt so much. Except on my boots.

I can't say this is actually a planned costume. I was coming to the hospital to see if House or one of his colleagues could give me a once-over for broken bones or bad cuts, but I'd run into a party instead (thus the sudden inclusion of a robe and hat). And the cut that I knew about had stopped bleeding and I haven't gotten progressively worse over the last hour or so, thus convincing me it must not have been anything too bad.

One of the nurses - I don't know if she's a real nurse or a dressed-up nurse - keeps giving me the eye. How do you let someone know, politely, that you're not interested? At least, not when you're stained and sweaty and smelly. That seems to be unattractive most of the time. And that's about me, not her. She looks bathed and made-up and... a lot like House's boss, I think. Don't think I'm going there even if she is. I tend not to spend time hooking up with people in positions of that much power. Despite the fact that my last relationship was with someone from the White Council. Leave me alone. My love life's been flagging a bit lately.

But this isn't about my love life, it's about a Halloween party and the sudden scream I heard coming from down the hallway.

* * *

House stood firm. He would not let her beat him at this game. Not again. Not in this furry cat outfit. She had gotten him once and he would not let her do it again. That first time had been a surprise. He knows what it does now and he can sure as hell prevent it if he wants to. Right? Right?

 _Fuck,_ he grumbled to himself, already losing the mental battle as his fingers found the fuzzy softness of her ears again (the cat ones this time). With a growl, he reached down to clip the leash he had conveniently stowed in one of his pockets when she wasn't looking to the ring on the front of her white leather collar.

Curious eyes peered up at him and he could see the glint of a self-satisfied smirk trying to hide in the blue and green specks. _Damn her,_ his internal voice muttered again. She knew this would happen. Hell, no reason to stop now, he was already gone.

He gave the leash a tug and drew her closer to him, his long fingers taking up the slack in the leather. He nearly lost his footing when she brushed the side of her head against his crotch. Closing his eyes for a moment, he breathed to get his bearings, then growled for her to unfasten his pants.

She tilted those sparkling curious eyes at him again and pawed at his waist, then untied the cinch of his pants with a 'claw'. Loosened so swiftly, the pants dropped to the floor in a heap at his ankles. Cool air brushed his skin, but he only had a second to notice because Cameron's warm, wet mouth made contact with his cock and he nearly forgot his own name.

By the time his brain caught up with the rest of him, he was rocking his hips forward and tangling his fingers in her hair and the leash, using both to draw her further down the length of his cock. He should have been paying more attention to what he was doing. As soon as the soft fur tickled the skin of his thighs, he nearly exploded in her throat. How had he forgotten _that_ sensation?

Hearing her gagging coughs woke him from his near sensory overload stupor enough to draw his hips back and let her breathe. He asked if she was okay to keep going and her response almost knocked him on his ass. It had him releasing her hair to steady himself on a nearby shelf at least.

The contents of the shelf rattled vigorously, then stood still.

* * *

The large snarling almost-a-werewolf thing just scared the beejeezus out of that woman dressed like Bo Peep. Though, I can honestly say, that is the _shortest_ Bo Peep skirt I have ever seen. I didn't realize it was possible for a skirt to be that short and still have room for crinkled crinolines under it. That's almost impressive.

And Murphy would call me a 'pig' for a comment like that. Though I'm not sure why. It's something that seemed a physical impossibility until I actually saw it.

I'm going to get off the topic of the short skirt before I get myself into trouble. There are other costumes not nearly as _risque_ as that one. There are ghosts and zombies and action heroes and medical professionals - though, at a hospital costume party, isn't that cheating?

That werewolf thing is drooling an awful lot. I don't know how normal that is for a costume.

Well, damn. I'm glad I came dressed as a wizard, because it looks like I may need to actually be one tonight. The werewolf thing just tried to eat Bo Peep. Shit.

* * *

House gave the shelf an annoyed sneer, then refocused his attention on the white, furry form of Cameron's head bobbing up and down on his cock. It's delicious and good and he suddenly had the urge to press her against the wall.

He tugged the leash, pulling her to her feet smoothly. With a soft rumble, he turned her to face the wall of the closet. His hand reached between her legs to unfasten the crotch of her costume. The moan that echoed off the wall almost made his ears sweat.

By the time he entered her, all hot and slick, he was sure he wouldn't last long at all. Damn, he needed this. And maybe he would have one Halloween Party in his memory that didn't suck. How did Cameron keep influencing his thoughts on holidays?

When that moan rippled from her throat and her hips pushed back against him, he gave up on thinking and focused much more on moving. Thrusting into her, trying to break her apart, feeling that fur against his chest and legs were suddenly the most important tasks on his mental To-Do list.

She threw her head back against his shoulder. That made him thrust harder. The sensation of the fur on his skin intensified everything.

Lips pressed close to her ear, he rumbled, "I fucking love this stupid costume."

Cameron moaned and could feel herself tightening around him. The costume, until recently had been hanging in her closet, unworn. She knew it wouldn't hang idly in her closet anymore.

House thrust deeply into her. His leg was starting to cramp, but he needed to finish. 'Needed this to make his Halloween.

* * *

No, dressing as a wizard isn't cheating, because I don't normally wear midnight robes with silver stars and moons stitched to it. (Though I've actually had nightmares about showing up at Council meetings dressed this way - trust me, showing up naked is better.) Molly picked this out for me. (I just hadn't planned on wearing it.) My apprentice, the fashion guru.

Anyway, I didn't have time to focus on my outfit just then. There was a snarling demon trying to eat the party-goers.

Strike that, there were TWO snarling demon beasts trying to eat people. The werewolf-looking thing and some hairless, lizard-like beast. Two monsters to deal with? And in the middle of a party full of humans who had no clue.

I had to both take down the demons _and_ not kill anyone. Dammit.

Even worse, I didn't have Bob and his wealth of knowledge to help me figure out what would work best to get these guys out of here, dead or back to their own dimensions.

The wolf-thing was charging at random people and making beeline for the stairs. I headed him off by aiming a focused stream of fire across the bridge of its nose. It stopped, but turned it's focus to me. That's not really a problem, except that I needed to _also_ get the lizard-thing away from the elevators.

Trying to fight two demons alone is bad enough. Trying to do it while standing in a room filled with innocent bystanders without harming or killing any of them is about four-hundred times that. Sure, I _can_ do it. I've done it before, but not usually when both of the monsters are coming after me at the same time and I have no idea what they are.

However, I had discovered fire did hurt them. This was good to know, because it's easier to kill with fire than wind and I'm not good at earth magics. Not enough to take down demons the size of NFL linebackers for sure.

I needed to get those people out of there. Pulling the fire alarm would work as long as it didn't also activate the emergency sprinkler system. Aside from the water putting out the fire, it would seriously decrease my ability to do anything useful with magic.

Another lash of flame unleashed at the lizard-thing as some spittle or venom from it landed on my wrist. Damn! That burns! I hope, it doesn't eat my flesh. Worry with that later. Lizard-thing was charging me head-on.

This would take some finesse. I needed to hit the thing and shield myself at the same time. I readied the blasting rod and my shield bracelet, then let loose the bolt of flame. As the flame left the blasting rod, I willed the shield into place and a lizard beast with serious heart burn flew over my head and into one of the solid exterior walls of the building. It landed with an ugly wet squish on the floor.

This gave me a few seconds to gather my thoughts. Containment. What could I contain the wolf-thing with? My left hand reached into my pocket and extracted a block of chalk. (It didn't do it on it's own. I put my hand in my pocket, I just had forgotten the chalk was in there until my hand brushed it.) I had no idea if this would work, but hell, it was worth a shot.

I took a good couple running steps, then slid along the floor on my hip and felt my hat sail off my head. The blasting rod got jammed against the tile as a pivot point and I dragged the chalk along the tile as I spun around the wolf-thing before it realized what was going on. I closed the circle, then pushed a bit of my will into it with a touch of my finger and the wolf-thing was locked behind a mystical barrier. He didn't seem too happy about it either.

I'd have exerted more effort to kill them, but I couldn't be sure there weren't people darting into the field of battle.

For the moment, I need to secure lizard-thing, so I grabbed a ruffled-looking blond man and asked him to make sure nothing or no one crossed the chalk circle on the floor. He gave me an odd look and muttered something at me I couldn't catch through his accent, but did what I'd asked.

I drew a similar circle around the prone figure of a vaguely lizard-shaped thing and locked him in too. I then requested assistance from a black man who was walking through just then and asked him if he would help get the people out of the building

And here I was thinking my birthday would be boring.

* * *

House felt Cameron stiffen and shudder. The cry from her throat reverberated around the small closet and he was sure someone had heard her. A moment later, he wasn't sure of anything as his climax steamrolled every bit of conscious thought he had left.

Cameron's kitty claws scratched at the door; she was trying to keep herself upright as her legs began to give out. Her head fell forward to thunk against the door. Her breathing came in labored pants while she waited for the little aftershocks in her core to settle.

"You okay?" House whispered, his mouth against her neck, his chin on her shoulder.

She nodded. "Excellent. _Meow,_ " she rumbled.

He chuckled and kissed her jaw. His large hands smoothed around her waist, rubbing the furry belly of the costume over her own taught abs. "I want to take you for a walk in the jogging park, Princess."

Cameron closed her eyes as a shiver zipped down her spine. She tingled in anticipation. "Mmm, let's go," she purred, pressing herself back against him.

It took them several minutes to disengage, then readjust their clothing so they were presentable to the outside world. House pressed Cameron against the door for a fierce kiss and a grope of her furry ass. She moaned against him, then repainted her nose and whiskers before stepping out of the closet. House stepped out behind her and tapped her ass with his cane.

******

The scene in the lobby as they stepped off the elevator was graphic. Broken tables and dishes and glass and blood on surfaces one wouldn't expect to find blood - even at a Halloween party in a hospital. Then there were the two non-human lumps.

"What the hell happened in here?" Cameron asked with a gasp. "Oh my God."

* * *

I stepped around a few Council Wizards to meet Drs. House and Cameron at the elevators. Oh yeah, there was quite a bit of Council interest in a demon-crashed Halloween Party in Jersey. No idea why. Maybe they were bored. Or wanting to know why I was in Jersey. Paranoid-much?

"Dresden. What's going on with the parade of Hogwarts types?" House asked full of that amazing tact of his.

I looked over my shoulder at the mess. "'Couple demons stopped in for some tasty Halloween snacks." I turned back to them. "I talked them out of it," I explained with a light shrug.

"Was anyone hurt?" Cameron asked, she was leaning on House's arm a little heavier than casually acceptable.

"Not badly. A few scrapes and bruises. They're all out in front."

"You took these things out by yourself?" House sounded incredulous. Gotta love his lack of faith in me. It's almost comforting.

I shrugged again, "Yeah. All by myself."

House looked defeated. "Damn. And I didn't even get a chance to use my sword cane," he grumbled.

"Sorry. Maybe next time," I told him. Though, I hope there isn't a next time. One time was plenty.


End file.
